So for those unaware M13 is a ‘legend’ both in the online motorcycle community (and in real life)…He has done many humorous videos which have had tens of millions of views. He invited me to his wedding, which was a bit last minute, then we got talking and I went on his honeymoon instead, don’t ask….

So we did a full circuit around Taiwan, the trip was most fantastic and I owe a big thankyou to both M and his wife, they were very accomodating to a strange drunken brit. He is a top bloke, I’ve told him he should offer Taiwan tours, I’d certainly have paid top dollar for his services - (errr, that sounds wrong….)

Wait till you see the driving videos in the city. Sheesh! Every man for himself….Another comedy point is that we’re on scooters with two dogs. One of them which has only ever been on a scooter for 5 minutes at a time - so off on a four day trip we go.

The original plan was to get ‘real’ bikes, but with a recent typhoon and the mountain roads we weren’t sure how many landslides we’d be carring the bikes over…Plus the scooters barely got overworked on the mountain roads, so a sports bike would have certainly been interesting.

I’ve probably easily got 100 hours of footage to wade through, not a task I relish. Here’s some of the non riding footage.

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So here’s some photos:

For the record, he likes to keep his identity secret. I guess for both privacy and it makes his videos more mysterious! The fact he is a cyclops with two noses has nothing to do with it….

Photos are in the complete wrong order…

Traditional clothes I got for the kids

Fucking landed at Stanstead as there was a firealarm at Heathrow, three and a half hours on the concrete and noone telling us what’s going on…

Me and a floating chin…

As I managed to lose Bao Bao from the bike twice I brought her a helmet LOL

Read the bottom….

Me getting naked tending to my wounds….

Bao Bao injuries SORRY BAO BAO

Forest crabs?

Boot damage

Rocking statues…

Temple in a cave

This is where I crashed

Many roads being fixed due to the recent typhoons

A toilet apparantly….I’d hate to have the shits…How can I relax and read the Sunday paper?

Chinglish at it’s best, anyone know what they’re trying to say here?

Damaged dog and bike

Tropic of Cnacer?

Naked…AGAIN. Fixing myself up

And naked again…

This is very old footage.

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Oops.

Four epic days with Mordeth, lots of fun. I’ve got some splendid videos, mostly edited and ready to upload, however I’ve not had a decent enough connection to upload hence this mini update (edit: which has taken me FOREVER to upload) 

So we’re riding along, all is fine. We’re not doing any sort of speed at all, it’s downhill. There’s some construction in the road and some mud/sand combined with water.

I’m probably following Mordeth a little too closely. I see him (so I think) fall off the bike, the dog riding on his scooter has also gone and as far as I’m concerned so is he.

So I slam on the brakes instinctively, not wanting to hit neither him, his bike nor the dog. That was my second mistake.

I go left, the dog travelling on my bike goes right. According to Mordeth I’m going down the road like you would on a water slide. On my back, arms by my side. in a straight line. Not serious at all, we’re doing barely any speed.

Whilst I’m wearing some body armour I have nothing but jeans on my legs. So I have a large gash in my jeans/leg. I’m tough, I feel worse for the poor dog who probably took the worst of it on a smaller scale. She’s now limping on three legs although her wounds are also mostly superficial thankfully.

The body armour did it’s job, so only a wee wound on my knee that looks a lot worse than it is, the dog has a few cuts and a large bruise.

I feel guilty as hell. Seriously, I’d rather more damage to me and less to the dog. You can’t explain or apologise to her, bless I wish she could feel my (emotional) pain for causing her unintended harm. This was taken right after the accident, but it’s swelled up since, I want to pay for an emergency vet but we can neither find one, nor do we think it’s warrented. Needless to say the dog is VERY loved and will be monitored closely.

Evidentally Mordeth actually didn’t come off, he did an excellent save tho. He did lose his dog, which is 100% fine thankfully.

To sum up, I’m fine (no really mother….Don’t fret).

The funny thing is Mordeth was saying “no, don’t buy that armour, it’s bloody expensive” I retorted “skin grafts cost more”. Furthermore we’d only literally just left a rest stop before the incident, and I was considering not wearing my gloves, but luckily I figured if I did come off and injure my hands that’ would end the trip rather prematurely, I couldn’t ride without hands…

I wont reveal too much more about the trip, I’ve got lots of videos that will explain it better Needless to say we’ve done both the width and length of Taiwan! This is today’s effort.

Also my “proper” tracker is broke TYPICAL! So this is just the iphone which can be marginally inaccurate on zooming….you get the idea tho…

The most annoying thing? My fecking camera broke….I record EVERYTHING normally. My “camera of invincibility” breaks and ends my invincibility streak. Sods law? Every damn time the camera isn’t on something happens. I have today got a replacement so I shall live another day. It would have been a sweet video. Shame.

To end on a humerous note this body armour has given me the most curious suntan pattern on my body. I sure hope it “washes” out. Sure beats a tattoo I guess….

Apparantly you can, whilst waiting in the massive queue to sort out my international driving permit I spotted this:

 

If you can’t read it, it says

Royal Mail, the Cruciform and the colour red are registered Trade Marks of Royal Mail Group PLC.

Better get anything red removed from your websites people!

In other news my IDP is now sorted, thanks to those who pointed it out. Bloody Royal Mail retards.

So I’m going to Taiwan tomorrow. I find out I need an “international driving permit 1949″ to drive in Taiwan.

Why? Good question… It serves no purpose whatsoever. All the information contained in it is on my drivers license. You know, that little fancy card with the barcode and everything. This thing looks like a WW2 ration booklet or something for christsake.

It holds information such as:

• Name
• Address
• DOB
• Signature
• Picture
• What class of vehicle I can legally drive.

So it’s pretty much a duplicate of my drivers license. What a waste of a fiver…

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These are most fun, I’ve found muscles I didn’t even know I had! In the end we required liquids, so decided to go down to the garage….Then we spotted Wimpies. Humour ensued.

Allegedly you can jump 6 feet and run 22 mph….Unless you’re Sven or Griff in which case you can only fall flat on your face.

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This took a few days to film, a couple of bruises and hours of footage to edit into a few minutes. I enjoyed making it. Hope you enjoy viewing.

Think google is trying to tell me something….

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Quick roundup

• 1.3 Megapixel
• 2gig memory
• 5 hours record time